Aspen is a total blast this weekend.
Don’t have much to offer right meow, but here are some cell-photos.
Bobby Brown is a winner.
PK didn’t quite make it to his hotel room. 4:30 AM
This sign is posted in Victoria’s Coffee Shop.
I hope they find the dog because it was probably an expensive sweater.
On Sunday, Brian, Thacher and I gathered all the blankets, fluffed all the pillows, collected our various stuffed animals (Treadwell, Theodore, Seymour, Andrew and Garcia), busted out the laptop, and settled in for a screening of the not-so-popular 1997 film, “Chasing Amy.”
Legs may have rubbed against each other (no pants allowed), we might have rolled over on each other in laughter during the one, maybe two funny scenes, and we might have found ourselves in a hot sweat for no particular reason.
Treadwell has the best seat in the house.
Think it’s gay?
Well, you are wrong.
According to the Channel 4 “Gay-O-Meter,” I’m only 46% gay. I scored “right in the middle, and am a happy and well adjusted hetero man.”
Want to see how you compare? Take the test.
Nearly thirty million American men suffer from Erectile Dysfunction, and nearly five million of those people have taken Viagra in attempts to straighten out their problems.
Of course, Viagra has a desired effect when consumed correctly; however, it’s no secret that with prescription drugs come undesired side effects. For starters, Viagra can have an effect on color vision. Many people who take Viagra have reported a change in the way they perceive blue and green colors. In other instances, people have complained of seeing the world with a bluish tinge for several hours. For this reason, pilots cannot take Viagra within 12 hours of a flight.
Other side effects of Viagra include headaches and in extreme cases, heart attack. The possibility of heart attacks is one reason why Viagra is a prescription drug rather than an over-the-counter drug like aspirin. Occasional patients who take Viagra get painful, long-lasting erections and have to see a doctor to solve the problem.
Lastly, there is concern that some men, notably young men who take Viagra recreationally (not for physical reasons), may end up with a dependency on the drug. That is to say, they may become unable to maintain an erection without taking Viagra.
In an attempt to create a safer substitute for the blue pill, film director James Cameron has released a new sci-fi thriller, “Avatar,” featuring blue-aliens.
The film has been in theaters for forty days, and in that time it was proved to be a remarkable substitute for the Pfizer pill. The film is so extraordinary, so titillating and so utterly perfect that many movie-goers have reported becoming aroused during the screening itself. “The Na’vi people, and notably the main character Neytiri are really erotic; I want to make out with her beneath the Tree of Voices so bad,” reports Thacher Stone of Norway, Maine. And in Dillon, Colorado, Dr. Luke Van Valin noted, “I’ve been to see the film seven times now. I wore sweat pants the first time I went, and, well, lets just say that was a bad idea”.
Despite the immediate impact the film has on viewers, the effects are said to linger with moviegoers long after they have exited the screening, and returned to daily life. Much in the same way that Viagra is taken prior to sexual activity, the idea behind this new substitute drug is that when “the time” comes around, simply fill your head with thoughts of Pandora, and voilà, (insert Pringle’s chip slogan here).
“Avatar” thus works in a very similar manner to the popular drug Viagra. And, what makes this means of tackling ED so attractive is the apparent lack of unwanted side effects (except for in very rare cases).
Additionally, this substitute drug is cost effective. Where thirty pills of Viagra will cost you approximately $99.95 (equating to roughly $3.00/pill), one screening of Avatar will run you between $8-14. Quite the deal! Each Viagra capsule produces an effect for a mere matter of hours, whereas one single screening of Avatar is enough to last a lifetime; given the ratio here, I think it’s safe to say “Avatar” is truly changing lives.
Having grossed $1,842,042,513 since its debut, “Avatar” is unquestionably effective. Viagra, and other similar drugs like Cialis and Extenze, for the first time in their booming careers, find themselves to be relatively impotent.
That being said, remove all oysters, dark chocolates, and those wretched blue pills from your home and head out to your local theatre; it’s that good.
Avatar
Ski extraordinaire Mike Clarke put his aerial acrobatics on hold this Fall in pursuit of a goal: that goal was to make an ultra-awesome ski documentary. This week, Clarke released the much anticipated European installation of his pet-project, Just Passing Through.
When asked about the film, Clarke had this to report:
“I’d say the final product is [going to turn a lot of people on]. There are always things I would want to change, but I’m [fairly sure that many people will become aroused while watching this film]. I want to shoot more of them, and am planning on doing one at X-Games this coming weekend.”
The film is the culmination of 120+ editing hours; the blood, sweat and tears have earned Clarke praise from ski and film fanatics around the globe.
Without further ado…
Just Passing Thru from Michael Clarke on Vimeo.
Strapped into Brian’s ultra-pimp board today and carved up a serious storm at Keystone Mountain. I was rip-citying down Paymaster, just givin’ er on my toe edge, when I looked back up the hill and saw a group of about forty hot chicks chasing me down the trail. They were waving big signs (“We Love Hank Lambo ,” and “U R 2 Hot 2 B Tru”), and frantically ringing cow bells and screaming real’ loud trying to get my attention. I knew they wanted me pretty bad, and I could certainly have stopped to oblige, but I just throttled it and mach 90′d into the distance… They’ll have to keep dreaming.
All in all, it was a great day at Keystone. Big ups to Packman for being my riding buddy. Heading back up tomorrow with Peterman and Jakeyard. See you there.
Hank Lambo, #69
On January 4th, 2010, and without warning, the smash-hit-blog-site henriklampert.com vanished. For seventeen days, the world waited.
“I clicked on my favorites tab to access the blog, just like I usually did about 6 or 7 times per day, and I got some weird notice about the site being down,” says Jimmy Catlin of Bethel, Maine. Similar stories and complaints began to circulate rapidly around the web-world within a few days of the occurrence. The apparent lack of explanation for the blogs disappearance left the regular-readers “confused, and generally less happy” according to online polls.
We’ve run the statistics, and have discovered that henriklampert.com is one of the fastest growing and most respected personal blog sites on the World Wide Web. We’ve blown up a portion of our analytics report below to show you the staggering amount of people that have continued to check the website during the past few weeks, despite the lack of new content.
As it turns out, the domain-name henriklampert.com expired, and a last minute decision to switch from the sites former host, Hostmonster to the oh-so-hot-right-now, Bluehost, created complications for Henrik Lampert and his team.
Thanks to the support of Harvitronix and Jonny Atencio, the website is now back online. Henriklampert.com extends its sincere apologies, and thanks the millions out there for their continued support.
The Analytics Report.
BOSTON, MA – Boston Bruins GM Peter Chiarelli announced today that the club has signed the star-forward, Šatan, to a one-year contract. The announcement comes as a relief to Bruins fans around the world who recognize the need for some fire in the Bruins offense.
The Bruins currently rank 26th in the league offensively, posting an average of just 2.5 goals per game. Šatan, who has played previously with four other NHL teams (most recently the Penguins, with whom he won the Stanley Cup) feels that the team “could use a player like [him].”
On Saturday, Bruins coach Claude Julien explained that Šatan is exceptionally capable of solving the Bruins shortcomings in the goal-scoring department. His hope is that Šatan’s attraction to, and love of the color red will motivate him to score goals (of course, the reason being that a goal results in the lighting of the red lamp behind the net).
Especially nervous about Šatan’s move to Boston are the New Jersey Devils (currently ranked 2nd in the league), who realize that the Bruins will now have exclusive access to their playbook and the club’s inner workings.
Šatan’s contract is worth $700,000 USD, and although this is a substantial pay-cut from his previous agreements, he is quite pleased to join the Boston club. At the beckoning of the Bruins management, the league has permitted Šatan to scrap his previous number (#81) and adopt the digits he has yearned for since his NHL debut in 1993; T-shirts bearing Šatan’s name and new number have been made available for purchase (image provided below).
Šatan, a native of Topolcany, Slovakia will play alongside Bruins captain Zdeno Chara for Team Slovakia at the upcoming 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver. It is expected that Šatan will join the Bruins lineup in approximately 10 days.
