Hank's Blog!

Tom Petty and Thacher Stone.

Each December our family gears up and heads to Norway to celebrate Christmas with familien Førland-Hansen (that’d be Mom’s clan).

In the weeks leading up to our journey across the pond, my mind fills with excitement; I greatly look forward to the pond-skating, the cross country skiing, the woodland walks, the sightseeing adventures and the rich holiday traditions that make the Norway trip, well, the Norway trip.

These aspects of our vacation are surely fantastic; of course seeing the family and recalling our Norwegian heritage is quite special too.

However, there is one thing I look forward to each year that is so awesome, and so magical that it sets all of the above-mentioned hoopla on the back-burner. And of course, I’m talking about the wieners!

As far back as I can remember, (and the old family photos of miniature-me chowing down certainly testify to the matter) I had an attraction to wiener pølser (a thin, foot-long hot dog).

These days, from the moment I pass by the kiosk upon arrival to the Gardermoen airport, to my last steps before boarding the plane to depart, it’s wieners, wieners, wieners.

The delicacy is prepared as such:

Step 1: Boil water in a med-large pot. Once the water boils, turn off the heat.

Step 2: After the bubbles have subsided, place the wieners into the pot, and let them heat up for approximately 5-10 minutes. Be sure not to place them into the pot while the water is still boiling, or else, Heaven forbid, the wieners will crack.

Step 3: Remove your lompe [loom-peh] from the refridgerator. The lompe is moist and thin, in contrast to the traditional American hot dog bun, which is dry and thick. The latter, as far as I’m concerned, take up too much space in your stomache and leave less room for tasty wieners.

Step 4: Place a lompe on a plate, and place the wiener in the center of the lompe.

Step 5: Apply condiments as desired. I prefer to squirt the ketchup and mustard in a zig-zag pattern, creating a figure-eight design. Occasionally, If I’m feeling ambitious, I’ll add relish.

Step 6: Wrap the hot dog tightly in the lompe.

Step 7: Put the wiener in your mouth.

Step 8: Repeat steps 4-7 many, many times for ultimate satisfaction.

It’s day 5 of our trip, and I’ve tallied twenty-two wieners thus far. That’s an average of 4.4 wieners per day. I’ll continue to snarf down the wieners over the next few days, filling my stomach to the point of bursting. I have to take advantage of my time here, as these bad boys do not exist in the states.

So by now, if you’re not totally sold, and are not already booking a plane ticket to Norway to have a taste of this gold, then you can ask Shay for further information regarding the wieners; he loves wieners too.

Jingle-belled my way over to the Smeallie’s for their annual Christmas bash last night; 100+ were all smiles as we enjoyed tasty food, an abundant bar and pleasant company.

I performed a double-take when I passed by Martha’s Nativity set; and when I had confirmed my original suspicion I became ultra-ecstatic. Can you see what is taking place front and center? Feast your eyes on the character in the red shirt with the white bandanna.

Could you tell what’s going on!?

Yup, that’s right. It’s Rafael Nadal taking a poo.

Here’s another close up for your viewing pleasure.

As it turns out, the figurine is a “Caganer.” These statues are found in Catalonia and in neighbouring areas like Andorra. The figure is depicted in the act of defecation; the word “Caganer” is Catalan for “pooper.”

The Caganer was an obliged figure in the Christmas Cribs of the eighteenth century. It was believed that with his fertile depositions, the soil of the crib would become rich and productive for the coming year. It was also believed that he would bring good health and calm to the body and the soul.

Today, the Catalonians continue the tradition producing statues of all sizes, shapes and colors. Celebrities and icons from around the globe can be found assuming the position of the Caganer.

Thomas was nice enough to think of me while he was in Spain, and he brought me a figure of Lionel Messi, FC Barcelona’s star player.

Now I have a jolly little Caganer all to myself!

And look, he’s making a “Messi.”

We’re in the midst of final exams here in Buff City.

I’ve got quite a bit of reading to do; worst part is, it’s all PDF format. What happened to the good ol’ days of charging us $300/book? Sure, we’re saving trees this way… but I’m not sure that the integrity of my eyesight is a fair trade-off.

Here is a collage of “screen-shots” I’ve just taken; these are the riveting works that I’ll be absorbing today.